Coaching people in difficult times

This post comes from Marcia Reynolds, author of, “Coach the Person, Not the Problem”.
As leaders, we know how difficult it can be to lead people through difficult times, through times of radical change. As Ms. Reynolds says, 
“Emotions shape our reality more than facts and trend charts. The less we know for sure, the more we imagine the worse and believe it exists.”
When people’s worlds are being turned upside down, it’s hard for them to eliminate fear and focus on facts. It’s difficult to get them to focus on solutions and moving forward. These four practices though can help tremendously:
  1. Listen to their story - This isn’t about you, it’s about THEM. So be patient, don’t judge, and accept their perspective as how THEY see the world right now. They need to feel heard and valued before they’re anywhere NEAR ready to examine their feelings and beliefs with you.
  2. Play back what you hear and notice - Repeat back to them, in your own words, what you heard them say to make sure you truly understand them. Talk about any key moments when you noticed them get especially emotional. Repeat key phrases they may have said. Your goal is to understand what THEY believe the current situation to be and their assumptions about the future.
  3. Determine what they want now - Once you confirm that you understand their beliefs and fears, ask them what it is they WANT to be happening instead of what IS happening. It’s possible they won’t know. But maybe they can at least see a destination they’d like to move towards. Eventually they’ll see something that IS in their control to change.
  4. Create goals from insights - Hopefully, during this process, they’ll form new ideas, or have an “a-ha” moment. Ask them to articulate what it is that they’re learning, seeing, or beginning to understand. Ask them what they think it is that they might do now. Even if they just need to think about it, get them to commit to time for reflection on what they’ve discovered. The goal is to declare a next step - this ensures forward motion.

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